to my wifey.
I bet you’re grinning right now and too overwhelmed just thinking about the fact that I’m writing a public letter to you. Well, you’ll need to brace yourself for what’s to come, twin sis.
Writing this with tears in the corners of my eyes, yet I’m struggling to find the right words here. I’m a crybaby so never mind.
Loving you has made me realize a couple of things. The physical moments we have together are not all that we have, but we should make the most of those beautiful moments when we have them.
In the last few months, we understood that we had to make the most of every moment. And that was what we did, we sat together in church, we held hands and played in public, we argued less and agreed more.
We told secrets that we didn’t even know we had kept and encouraged each other to reach our dreams. We knew that we had to make those moments count.
Little did we know that our attempts to make sure that we do not miss each other would act in the wrong direction.
Now, I miss those moments. I miss arguing with you and concluding in my mind that I shouldn’t be doing that.
I miss that I can't tell you every detail of my life and it hurts me, it hurts me that I must get used to this, get used to having my space to myself, having the whole bed to myself, you know I don't take too much space, so it feels off.
It’s not that I can’t live alone, it’s just that living without you is the actual nightmare I dread.
For normal people, this is it, it’s like living without a vital part of your body, you wouldn’t want to have to do that, but people expect us to get used to this, they expect us to be independent. What use is independence if you’re not what you should be?!
I dislike this kind of life. You see, I just recently found out that I do. I have bragged about how I'm going to enjoy everything on my own and not miss you, but it's not true. I thought if all the conditions were met and the environment was lively enough then I wouldn't miss you, but look at me, I miss you! Every part of me knows that I do and it's sickening.
But, the paradox is that I don't want to get used to living without you. Also, I fear that I might outgrow this one day and think that it's useless to miss you. No, I won't spend the whole day thinking about you and not getting the necessary things done, I won't. But, I won't spend a whole day without knowing your whereabouts and what you're up to either. I won't mind that I have to do this probably many times in 24 hours.
I know you're not an angel, you're just my twin sister. Our differences are the things that make us unique. An extrovert and introvert doing so well together. You're amazing, your heart is beautiful, and your views are just what the world is waiting for.
You're precious to me, you're precious in all your ways. Your poise is well treasured in my heart, preciously. And I bet you're already thinking that I'm the best twin sister out there, well, happy to disappoint you (inserts a laughing emoji).
You always feel responsible for me. You always tell me that you're praying for me. You make it obvious that you worry about me and that my pain, although it is your pain, is actually your pain. You always say that I shouldn't think I'm visiting you but that I'm coming home, that I'm coming to our home. Because home is where we are, where God is with us.
We're unique, and that isn't because we're identical twin sisters. That's beautiful, so so beautiful. But more of our uniqueness comes from the fact that we have ourselves. That there's someone in this whole wide world that I have watched grow up for decades, I mean, how many people our age can boast of a bond like ours? See? That's one of those things. I can confidently tell the whole world about you and it would be so accurate that I'd look like a fortune teller.
I'm no fortune teller, just fortunate to be the one telling this story.
Every day on, we'll be chasing our dreams, but just like you said, we will always find a way to be together.
Right now, my highest paying job is taking short moments in between my work schedule to think about you. Short beautiful moments to remember how amazing we are together, how we rock, and how God did a splendid job creating this combo.
Thank you for being amazing, thank you for your sweetness. Life is boring without you, it won't always be boring, but I'll be happy when it gets boring, I'll be happy because I already know why and I can embrace those short boring moments.
I love you is an understatement, but you would pardon me because this whole letter is an understatement! I love you a billion times over and every now and then, I miss you.
