Today, I watched a group of kids playing together, and something surprising happened. My eyes caught a boy and a girl slapping each other, which left me shocked. But before I could react, another young girl stepped in. She confronted the boy, saying, 'Why are you hitting a girl? Don't you know that boys shouldn't hit girls?'
Was I so proud of this lovely girl?! I couldn't help but feel a surge of pride myself. Her actions weren't rehearsed; there were no signs of showing off here. This wasn't the result of a recent lecture from her parents; it was a lifelong lesson etched into her character, born from the simple act of her parents teaching her brother not to raise a hand against her. She had always been one of my favourite kids, and today, she made me proud.
Let me make you understand the scenery: we were inside the children's church. I am a children's teacher. These were kids who had been taught the way of the Lord. In fact, most of them had passed through my classes at one point in time. Continuously, we've been drilling good morals and biblical wisdom into them, and it's worth noting that they are all from devout Christian families and regularly attend church. Yet, in this moment, they prove that they are all different.
Upon closer examination of the young girl who came to her friend's defence, it was evident that she had learnt this moral lesson from home. You see, she had an older brother who, as a result of his manly ego, might want to exert some physical force. Meanwhile, her parents? They were available to constantly reinforce in both speech and action that such behaviour from males was highly inappropriate.
I knew this was God's response to a discussion I had with my siblings about the importance of treating women with respect. Beating a woman is undeniably wrong, but I've recently come to understand just how grave the matter truly is. It's more than just offering advice to grooms on their wedding day or engaging in debates on social media. The reality is that men and women are equally stubborn if their egos are not dealt with.
Breaking the cycle of violence in interpersonal relationships.
At my cousin's civil wedding, the court emphasized the severe consequences of violence and assured the bride that she had legal protection if necessary – a commendable step in an age where remedies often take the spotlight. However, let's not stop at the surface level; we should proceed to the root of this matter. Youths should be educated about self-respect and conflict resolution, starting from primary school up to university, to prevent physical confrontations between a man and a woman.
There used to be this family around some time ago. They had a youngest daughter, and her father had an unusual rule that no one would lay a hand on her without adult consent. Many thought this was the root of her 'spoiled' behaviour – she seemed to disrespect her siblings since they couldn't lay a finger on her. But little did we know that her parents were teaching the boys a profound lesson that no matter how vexing a woman might be, you never resort to physical violence.
It didn't matter if you've had a civil wedding, if you were religious or not, or whether she had guardians you held in high regard. You simply do not raise your hand against your wife because it's just not in your DNA to strike a woman. That's not who you are!
An incident happened at my workplace that bewildered me for a few days. This young lady was my co-intern; she had stepped out on an errand, only to find herself in a heated exchange with a guy that escalated into him slapping her not once, but twice. Her lips had a cut, her eyes were teary, and she sprawled on the ground with her glasses lying beside her.
Meanwhile, yours truly was right there, witnessing the whole spectacle! I hurried back to the office to alert our senior colleagues, mostly men, and to my surprise, they were outraged, asserting that anyone who could lay a hand on a woman like that might as well beat his wife.
Now, let me tell you, the enthusiasm with which they reacted was even more shocking than the incident itself. They took it so personally that you would think it was their daughter or sister that had been violated; insisting that the young man foot her medical bills and offer a sincere apology.
This is a part of the story you didn't ask for; the guy was hesitant to pay because of financial constraints, and the catalyst for this whole saga? Apparently, he had made advances to her on her way back to the office and according to him, she responded with a dismissive hiss. (Money and love sure have their connection)
As an older sibling, your response to your sister's misbehaviour should not be hot slaps. This applies not only to your female siblings but to everyone under your guidance. Early on, it's crucial to realize that there are more effective methods for instilling discipline. You are way smarter than resorting to physical force. By doing this, you're passing a wrong message to yourself so that any slight difference raises your hands against your wife.
This is a subtle message to parents as well; while setting an example of harmony in your interactions teaches your children the value of living in peace, it's equally important to verbally communicate these principles. Spell it out to them in words that: 'violence is never the solution—neither men beating women nor women beating men.
Peaceful coexistence is achievable, and it's okay to stand up courageously against injustice - whoever the victim is - rather than conforming to it'.
I hope that the parents who need this message come across it and that those involved in this misbehaviour against their counterpart turn a new leaf.
Men should NOT beat women, women should NOT beat men. Peaceful coexistence is achievable among men and women!
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Ìfẹ́!❤️
