16 with 5 years of experience.
After rereading the first draft of this article where I had talked about everything I went through in 2023, I felt it wasn’t necessary to write everything. It wasn’t time to reveal to you the struggles and the wins of 2023. I felt that I had said too much, and mentioned too many names. The thing with me is, I am really jealous about my friends, about my people. So, I felt I had mentioned too many names. I usually love so deeply that I find it difficult to stop loving someone even when we are no longer together.
This reminds me of the year 2020, I received a news about one of the people I loved and admired so much. It was a bad news and it broke my heart. For a long time, I kept doubting the wrongness of his actions knowing well enough that he was wrong. It took me a lot of convincing to tell myself that he was wrong. That was how much I loved him.
In 2023, I found out that my personality type was INFJ, you know, I had found out before then, but in 2023, I came to understand that the complexities of my personality was because of the way God wired me, to be objective and empathic at the same time. So when people talk about my weirdness, I laugh because sometimes it's beautiful, to find out that you might have the same personality type as Jesus Christ, yes, the same Jesus Christ is predicted to have the rarest personality type, which is INFJ. Enough of personality traits, you see, I have the mind of Christ, personality or not. And, I'm growth oriented.
I wouldn't talk about everything that happened last year, I'd just mention the major highlights of my year. 2023 was filled with exams, I had four moments of exams. I cried a lot through them. There's something that exams do to you, they shape you and in the process, your heart may become hard. In 2023, I came to realize that some hardheaded and hard hearted people may actually have a story.
Then, I was the lead female character in a major drama at my fellowship. It was a beautiful moment, especially because I literally put everything at stake. I recall moments when I'd be going back to my room after overnight rehearsals shedding silent tears. But I'm glad for my friends and for my friend. In 2023, I wrote an article for all of my friends. In that article, I can point out the friend I was talking about in each line. I loved my friends so much that I wanted them to be happy and fine. In March and April 2023, I loved so much that it hurt.
I also got sick. It was the first time in three years, I didn't even know I was sick because I was used to those symptoms. I thought that a short nap was all I needed. Alas, Alaye was wrong o. I eventually got to the health center. My real temperature was playing hide and seek with the thermometer. The nurses saw me lying helplessly on a lady and attended to me first. I was so cold before I left the hostel, when I got to the health center, the heat was unbearable. I knew my temperature fluctuated a lot but that one was serious. I got over it, God came through for me.
Fammmmm, I visited Lagos for the first time in my life. It was a beautiful experience. I saw a lot of fine men. Fine men still exist, and I think most of them are in Lagos. My brother (God bless him) welcomed my mum and I and catered for all our needs right before my induction. It was a beautiful time with dad and mum and my brother. I even had my first night traveling experience and it was fun. I was able to let go of the stress of the year.
Many things happened in 2023 but these are the notable ones, I guess.
This is 2024, should I be writing a review? I felt I shouldn't but here I am. Today, I thought about my life. I remember telling my friend that I felt exhausted and he didn't know I was serious about it. At a point, I was exhausted. But, after the conversation, I regained my strength. It was not a serious conversation, he had spent half the whole time trolling and teasing me. But, it worked. For the first time in a while I had opened up to someone and it worked, then I had the courage to reach out to another friend and asked for help. He promised to help me, and I felt reassured. I will be asking a lot of help this year -- from God, mostly.
So today, after a long thought about my life, I cried. I played music from my phone and cried, I think it's the first time I'd be crying in this year. But it felt good. I thought about my life, about decisions I'd have to make and I was moved to tears as I listened to music while doing the dishes. Like I said, it was the first time in the year. Tears are like soaps, they wash the heart clean.
I couldn't even cry properly because my mum was close by, she couldn't know about it. I was supposed to be the hard girl who didn't care and never cried. So I kept the tears at my throat and didn't let them flow. If she knew I cried about life then her perspective would change about me. She would no longer take my stubbornness seriously. I had to keep my face.
In the middle of it, I said prayers to God. God has never been a plan in my book. He's my All in all. I walked through the year with him. I cried like a baby whenever I was praying. I said many silent prayers, I ignored him sometimes too. But, see my God!! He doesn't gree for anybody when it comes to me. Through the exams, the routines, everything!
This is to my family members, and my friends, all of you! My friends whom I haven’t seen in years, and my friends whom I have with me. This is to you all. In this article, your names are littered, is it the meeting that brought out the vulnerable side of me, or the times you covered me with clothes, beautiful clothes literally!? The long conversations, the endless 'fights’, the prayers, the gifts, foodddd, the warm hugs, the soul-lifting song recommendationsssss, the articles that blessed me, reassuring smiles, late night strolls, compliments that lifted my spirits, the encouragements, the corrections. There are many more I can’t name. I love you all, I love you! This is not detailed enough to make you emotional, but thank you!!!
2024, God said it, I believe it, that settles it!
